i just made my gag reflex go away.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
