I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.