some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
