NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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