I think my fart just growled at me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
