i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
