What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
