a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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