Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day

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  (609): i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day http://tfl.nu/6lmw
  Replies (5) Good night (553) Bad night (1254) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.

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  (704): I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless. http://tfl.nu/pksh
  Replies (14) Good night (530) Bad night (1211) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.

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  (908): im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me. http://tfl.nu/x53m
  Replies (6) Good night (446) Bad night (2298) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]

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  (541): Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =] http://tfl.nu/r84d
  Replies (44) Good night (7232) Bad night (1339) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life

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  (516): until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life http://tfl.nu/jc1p
  Replies (13) Good night (3542) Bad night (1000) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.

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  (773): Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices. http://tfl.nu/v05l
  Replies (8) Good night (2673) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..

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  (704): he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time.. http://tfl.nu/irbs
  Replies (6) Good night (1301) Bad night (4211) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

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  (214): That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed. http://tfl.nu/6ncx
  Replies (5) Good night (4392) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.

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  (714): All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it. http://tfl.nu/eanx
  Replies (24) Good night (1006) Bad night (11682) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.

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  (810): my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities. http://tfl.nu/947a
  Replies (12) Good night (2285) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.

  (209): View more from California

  And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.

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  (209): Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012. (209): And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas. http://tfl.nu/yl8f
  Replies (15) Good night (1679) Bad night (568)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.

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  (918): Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want. http://tfl.nu/d7n8
  Replies (4) Good night (1355) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...

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  (501): If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises... http://tfl.nu/i052
  Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually

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  (931): i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually http://tfl.nu/wdhn
  Replies (3) Good night (928) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.

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  (815): I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that. http://tfl.nu/ueu2
  Replies (1) Good night (408) Bad night (161) Order T-Shirt

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