Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's official drugs can't kill me
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito