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i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
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