lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
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the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
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Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count