youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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