Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
