I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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