OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
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alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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