I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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