i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
