Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
