im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
