My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
They are going to name an STD after you.
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