I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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