True but thats because hes a fetus.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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