Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
