It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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