I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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