I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
there is glitter all over my balls
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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