so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
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i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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