ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
