People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
