I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
