wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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