I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize