For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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