I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
