Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
