I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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