my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
