I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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