he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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