honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
