Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm jealous of your bromance
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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