Quick, to the slutcave!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
