i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
