I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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