I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
