I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
