I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
