I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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