He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
