Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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