something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
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The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
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You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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