Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime

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  (440): i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime http://tfl.nu/8e5t
  Replies (23) Good night (763) Bad night (5912)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.

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  (608): Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows. http://tfl.nu/05tf
  Replies (20) Good night (2889) Bad night (570)
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  (415): View more from California

  Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me

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  (415): Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me http://tfl.nu/bq34
  Replies (20) Good night (1216) Bad night (4516)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!

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  (504): I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed! http://tfl.nu/xwtw
  Replies (26) Good night (3646) Bad night (1134)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.

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  (773): Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize. http://tfl.nu/bs3u
  Replies (6) Good night (3574) Bad night (686)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.

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  (757): I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling. http://tfl.nu/uymu
  Replies (6) Good night (986) Bad night (2201)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.

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  (832): i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life. http://tfl.nu/0m3z
  Replies (29) Good night (1534) Bad night (3251)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.

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  (416): I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch. http://tfl.nu/l1wa
  Replies (9) Good night (3638) Bad night (587)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.

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  (443): We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending. http://tfl.nu/khho
  Replies (6) Good night (4493) Bad night (718)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?

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  (315): I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here? http://tfl.nu/pgo7
  Replies (8) Good night (1043) Bad night (3020)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.

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  (954): Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it. http://tfl.nu/slzd
  Replies (19) Good night (1547) Bad night (3894)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out

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  (970): I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out http://tfl.nu/cs49
  Replies (7) Good night (1350) Bad night (415)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....

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  (312): Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird.... http://tfl.nu/u9p7
  Replies (1) Good night (282) Bad night (560)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.

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  (+31): Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night. http://tfl.nu/bd92
  Replies (0) Good night (576) Bad night (149)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint

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  (503): U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint http://tfl.nu/psor
  Replies (0) Good night (907) Bad night (347)

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