Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?

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  (203): Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton? http://tfl.nu/kum0
  Replies (22) Good night (1342) Bad night (4436)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously i just wanna be friends

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  pass

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  (508): seriously i just wanna be friends (1-508): pass http://tfl.nu/b8w4
  Replies (39) Good night (1533) Bad night (5926)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.

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  (910): This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods. http://tfl.nu/a6lo
  Replies (11) Good night (4989) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.

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  (202): My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation. http://tfl.nu/z4sr
  Replies (15) Good night (7394) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  What did I eat last night that was bloody?

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  (515): What did I eat last night that was bloody? http://tfl.nu/w6f4
  Replies (19) Good night (756) Bad night (6734)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"

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  (903): I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk" http://tfl.nu/2chc
  Replies (5) Good night (831) Bad night (2264)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.

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  (306): She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant. http://tfl.nu/96oo
  Replies (27) Good night (1143) Bad night (8642)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.

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  (928): She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry. http://tfl.nu/gi6e
  Replies (26) Good night (8227) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.

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  (239): He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish. http://tfl.nu/b945
  Replies (33) Good night (1102) Bad night (1924)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.

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  (816): Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/x2rq
  Replies (8) Good night (614) Bad night (1408)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.

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  (773): I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal. (708): Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks. http://tfl.nu/2r2v
  Replies (9) Good night (1821) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?

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  (780): Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off? http://tfl.nu/9svp
  Replies (3) Good night (1305) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry

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  (972): we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry http://tfl.nu/ax9j
  Replies (8) Good night (544) Bad night (2205)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.

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  (407): I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'. http://tfl.nu/3npe
  Replies (2) Good night (1505) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.

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  (609): If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days. http://tfl.nu/rcu1
  Replies (0) Good night (550) Bad night (220)

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