I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.