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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK

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• (779): View more from Illinois

  Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started

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