It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
