whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
