Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
