Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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