This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
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I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
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I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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