he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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